The Long Commute: The Company Store

Monday, 17 January 2011

The Company Store

Arcor: Industria Argentina.

They mill the oats for our breakfast, the granola biscuits that resuscitate at ‘onces‘, they bake the sesame crackers for lunch and the occasional warm weather treats of multi-flavoured ice creams later in the day. Not only do they construct the contents, they also manufacture the packaging and your change.

The messages, your shopping, are priced right down to centavos (0.165p), fuel is priced down to one tenth of a centavo - you do the conversion math, I can’t see the point. It only perpetuates that wondrous misconception beloved of the global petrochemical industry: that they’re giving you a special deal. Rumour has it that the smallest coin is a five centavo piece, but as the local bus services take coinage only, there’s a distinct dearth of coins, and that expands the problem to a two peso paper note chasm. That sink hole can be filled with an apple-change: the healthy option . Or more usually by a selection of fruit flavoured Arcor-caramelas-change: the company store option. On a number of occasions the proffered change is stored in the cash drawer, which leads me to a novel thought; what would be the reaction if I offered to pay for a small item in candy sweets?

The Conspirators

The Navigator: forager, bean counter and now editor. Best observed when at the checkout, flicking through a dross of coinage from four countries. Understood to have been educated in the mid-70s in NE England before being promoted to a tertiary education in Aberdeen. Executed a u-turn out of science and into self-employed accountancy before landing the dream job as a Steward for Historic Scotland. Came to adventure cycling after having been dragged around as a spousal brake on one too many of Scotland's Munros.

The Chronicler: sometime cook and bike guard. Best observed outside supermarkets or women's underwear shops, avoiding eye contact with over-interested poky-fingered little boys. Emerged out of a Glasgow education in the early 70s then to Aberdeen and a diploma in Agriculture. Picked daffodils, dug potatoes, milked cows, planted trees, cut lettuces, drove JCBs. Came to cycling after running out of Munros.

You understand the charges that have been placed before you? This is one of the worst cases that has ever come before my court. You have wilfully and wantonly flaunted the traditions of this country. You have shown flagrant disrespect for the mores of our society. Not only have you offended on this occasion, but there are a further 6 counts against you, all in the last 10 years. I find your behaviour reprehensible. You are both serial offenders. On all these occasions you have avoided Christmas, and worse, escaped the Scottish winter. How do you plead?

The Long Commute

Monday, 17 January 2011

The Company Store

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